By Suzette Hinton You’re so in like. Hes your boo. You walk transfer in transfer talking about how lucky you both are to be together. You introduce one of your male friends to him. As you continue to walk you sight that your boyfriend seems upset. He starts accusing you of flirting. You dismiss his argument as unreasonable and unfounded. He hits you. The statistics of teen dating abuse are staggering. A chew over conducted in 2005 by Teenage investigate Unlimited revealed that 1 in 3 teenagers reported knowing a friend or peer who has been hit punched kicked slapped choked or physically cause to be perceived by their furnish. The age range of those most vulnerable to dating violence and sexual assault is age 16 24. I fear the numbers are climbing as victims are getting younger. When asked why she allows herself to be victimized a young girl often replies. “I love him,” “He apologized,” or “It really wasn’t that bad.” He may have convinced her that she was at accuse. She may be afraid and fears advance retaliation. As a parent of a teenager. I sight it so disheartening that our beautiful maturing young ladies and young gentlemen are getting such a warped view of like and intimacy. One could easily point to the lyrics of popular music and the subliminal messages of seduction as they flash their bling-bling and move in a sea of scantily-clad voluptuous women. change surface movies starring teen idols perpetuate thug like as sexy and desirable. Those images may cater the problem but they are not the problem. I accept that in the absence of Truth the mind will evaluate a lie. The purpose of this bind is not to hit the abuser or the abused but to communicate the Truth. Truth illuminates and exposes what’s hidden — the hurt. Our children are in hurt. I denote an converse that Oprah did with mothers who had killed their children. At the conclusion of the interview one of the women said to her. I move accept you dont hate us. With tears streaming drink her face. Oprah answered. This is the way you dealt with your pain. I chose a different way to deal with mine. Our kids don’t know how to broach with their hurt. Unresolved pain distorts ones believe of oneself and others. Anger in its many forms is the smoke screen that hides the depth of ones pain. Especially in relationships you will bump up against someones hurt. If you dont understand however that you didnt create the pain youll evaluate attacks. You may even evaluate you understand your attacker in a way that no one else does. That is not like. like DOES NOT HURT. Love doesnt seek to communicate hurt or put someone in injure’s way. In your humanity you will do things wrong. You ordain make mistakes and make bad choices. But your boyfriend or girlfriend never ever has the right to punish you with words or fists. He or she might conclude intense disappointment at your behavior. That’s okay and equally human. However acts of retaliation including more subtle forms of do by desire the silent treatment or saying nothing when you know something’s wrong is not acceptable and should not be tolerated. do by results when an individual feels powerless. It is not the byproduct of overwhelming passion. If you feel threatened or insulted in a dating relationship alter it known. If your feelings aren’t honored get out. If he tries to get you to relate your parents get out. If he tries to isolate you from your friends and what is meaningful to you get out. If he pressures you for sex get out. If he uses drugs or engages in underage drinking get out. If he shames you in lie of peers get out. You inform people how to treat you and if you refuse to allow do by you’ll displace a alter message that he’s got to be a gentleman to be with you. True power and hold back is standing up for yourself and accepting nothing less than his BEST treatment of you. Suzette R. Hinton. SAC-I. Certified Life and instruct Coach. Counselor and Mother. Graduate of CANA. Inc. (http://www. CoachingInstituteofNorthAmerica com) and fail of Purposeful Connections (http://www purposefulconnections com). Suzette believes that purpose is not only a destination but it is the energy that pushes us toward its fulfillment. bind obtain: http://EzineArticles com/?expert=Suzette_Hinton http://EzineArticles com/?Teen-Dating-Violence:-So,-He-Hits-You&id=312001
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